The Illusion is Real: Ditching the Idea of "Perfect" on Social Media

In today's digital age, it's almost second nature to reach for our phones and scroll through social media. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook have become integral parts of our daily lives. But while these apps can be entertaining and informative, they also harbor a darker side: the insidious habit of comparison and, most of us are guilty of it. This constant comparison can be particularly harmful to teen girls and women, especially when they follow accounts that perpetuate unrealistic standards and lifestyles.

The "Perfect" Image?

Social media is flooded with images of people who seem to have it all: Whether it's the idealized domestic bliss of trad couples, the polished parenting of momfluencers, or the glamorous lifestyles of influencers, these posts set unrealistic standards that can make us feel inadequate and like we are never doing enough. For example, seeing a trad wife making bubble gum from scratch, a momfluencer’s picture-perfect birthday party, or an influencer who is constantly updating you from luxurious destinations can create pressure to meet unattainable ideals, glossing over the messy reality of everyday life.

For young people the impact of social media comparison is even more significant. When teens constantly see curated and edited images of their peers and influencers the constant exposure to these unrealistic standards can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and depression. Teens may begin to believe that their worth is tied to how they measure up to others, leading to a distorted self-image and lowered self-confidence.

Moreover, the pressure to gain likes, comments, and followers can exacerbate these feelings. Teens might start to equate their social media engagement with their self-worth in real-life making them vulnerable to negative feedback and cyberbullying. This pressure can also lead to unhealthy behaviors, such as extreme dieting or other risky activities. The relentless cycle of comparison and validation-seeking can  undermine a teen's confidence, making it crucial for parents, educators, and teens themselves to recognize these harmful effects and take steps to foster a healthier relationship with social media.

To maintain a healthy perspective adults and kids alike should follow accounts that resonate with them and their interests, likes and curiosity. I also encourage "temperture checks" with kids and their devices. This means that on a regular basis you are asking your child to walk you through their devices - specifically showing you their social timelines if they are on social. You may also want to take a more active role by helping your teen curate their own feed. Whatever works for you its important for all of us to be mindful of who we follow and recognizing that a lot of what we see on social media is an illusion, not real and we can enjoy our feeds without falling into the trap of comparison. 

A study by the Royal Society for Public Health found that social media use is linked to increased levels of anxiety, depression, and poor sleep. The constant barrage of idealized images can make it easy to forget that what we're seeing is often far from reality and that we are enough.

Real-Life Impact: The Facts

The impact of social media comparison is not just in our heads; it has real-world consequences. Research shows that:

• Body Image Issues: A survey conducted by the Mental Health Foundation found that one in five  adults felt shame about their body image because of social media.
  
  
• Mental Health: According to a study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, limiting social media usage to 30 minutes a day can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness and depression.
  
  
• Self-Esteem: The American Psychological Association reported that social media comparison can lead to lower self-esteem and higher levels of anxiety and depression, particularly among young women.

Steps to Combat Harmful Comparisons

So, how can we combat the harmful effects of social media comparison? Here are some practical steps:

1. Curate Your Feed: Follow accounts that promote body positivity, mental health awareness, and realistic portrayals of life. Unfollow or mute those that make you feel bad about yourself.

2. Limit Screen Time: Set boundaries for your social media use. Try to spend less time on these platforms and more time engaging in real-world activities that make you happy.

3. Practice Gratitude: Focus on what you love about your own life. Keeping a gratitude journal can help shift your mindset from comparison to appreciation.

4. Be Critical of What You See: Remember that what you see online is often a highlight reel, not an accurate representation of reality. Approach social media content with a critical eye.

5. Support Networks: Surround yourself with supportive friends and communities that uplift you rather than bring you down. Engage in conversations that promote mental wellness and self-acceptance.

Social media can be a double-edged sword. While it has the potential to connect us and provide valuable information, it can also impact our self-esteem with harmful comparisons and unrealistic standards. By being mindful of how we use these platforms and taking active steps to protect our mental health, we can mitigate the negative effects and use social media in a way that benefits us all. 

**Sources**:
1. Royal Society for Public Health. (2017). #StatusOfMind: Social media and young people's mental health and wellbeing.
2. Mental Health Foundation. (2019). Body image report: How we think and feel about our bodies.
3. Hunt, M. G., Marx, R., Lipson, C., & Young, J. (2018). No more FOMO: Limiting social media decreases loneliness and depression. *Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology*.
4. American Psychological Association. (2019). Stress in America: Generation Z

Ebony Bagley - Internet Wellness Advocate