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Building Bridges: 7 Questions to Ask Your Tweens for a Deeper Connection


Navigating the tween years these days can feel like trying to decipher a new language. Kids between 9 and 12 are in a unique phase, transitioning from childhood to adolescence. They’re seeking independence, exploring identities, and often feel misunderstood. One of the best ways to bridge this gap is through meaningful conversation. As the parent of a 10-year-old girl who has a social life of her own, after-school activities, an iPad and loves her Roblox this is not always easy. But, putting down the devices and having real, face-to-face talks is crucial in this digital world. 


The goal isn’t to interrogate or invade their privacy (which all kids/teens deserve) but to create a space where your tween feels heard and valued. Working to build a deeper connection with your tween now will lay the foundation for a strong, supportive relationship as they navigate the exciting and sometimes tumultuous journey into adolescence. So, make the moments, during meals, car rides, or before bedtime. Put down the devices and keep some of the open-ended questions below in mind and encourage your child to ask you questions as well. Here are seven questions to help you connect with your tween on a deeper level:

1. What was the best part of your day?

This simple question opens the door to positive conversation and shows your interest in their daily life.

2. What's something that made you feel proud recently?

Tweens are developing a sense of self-worth. Asking about their achievements or moments of pride encourages them to share their successes with you, no matter how big or small. Celebrate the wins!

3. Who do you enjoy hanging out with at school, and why?

Friendships are crucial during the tween years. This question helps you understand their social world and who influences them. It also provides insight into their values, their interests, and what qualities they appreciate in others. 


4. Is there anything you're curious about or something new you want to try?

Tweens are full of curiosity and new interests. By asking this, you show support for their passions and interests. It might even be an opportunity to explore new activities together!

5. Can you teach me something new you’ve learned or enjoy doing?

Role reversal can be powerful. Letting your tween take the lead in teaching you something fosters confidence and shows that you respect their knowledge and skills. It can be anything from the latest TikTok dance, to a new game, a hobby, or a piece of trivia. Let them lead the way!

6. What’s something you wish we did more often as a family?


This question invites them to express their desires for family time. It helps you understand what activities make them feel connected. This could be as simple as a weekly game night, a movie, or a family field trip.

7. What's something I can do better or more of for you?

This question welcomes honest feedback and demonstrates a parent's willingness to improve and support their tween. It also shows that the parent values the child's perspective and is committed to nurturing a stronger, more responsive relationship.

By prioritizing these conversations, you show your tween that they matter more than any screen. This simple act can strengthen your bond and guide them confidently through their transition into adolescence.

💡Tech+ Tip: Have your tween take the lead in recording a family Q&A session for your own digital history. This engaging activity can create lasting memories while learning valuable skills!

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